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How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?
– Epictetus
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Where would you be if your fear didn’t hold you back?
What are you losing out in achieving your vision?
What are the barriers that stop you from being who you want to be in the world?
Some voice is keeping a barrier in place. Someone inside of your head is getting off scot-free, has no skin in the game, always has better judgment. is never responsible and lays blame on everything that goes on… and this is wasted energy.
Do you want to be overcome the fear of failure? Fear of looking foolish? Fear of rejection? Ever heard the advice: Just get over it, don’t take it personally… how is that working for you?
I would like to suggest you reframe your fear with a little journal exercise. Ask yourself more about this doubting voice. Where does it come from? Who talks like this around you? What is the voice trying to protect you from?
Get to know this voice.
Bring awareness to these thoughts.
Sometimes in meditation, we hear that thoughts are just thoughts, they are not you, you can dismiss them, pick them up when you need them. All true, but that fear voice feels important. How can that fear voice work with your intentions to overcome it? Hold hands with your ambition?
It does help to remind ourselves of how fear has served us in the past and not to completely dismiss it. But we also need a little push back, so we can talk to ourselves positively in the face of self-doubt. Like a kind friend would when you are afraid. They would say something like, ‘it’s ok, you got this.’
I remember my first rowing partner Abby telling me back in 2010 how her coach told her that feeling butterflies before a race is perfect. It’s because you care and want a good outcome. Then he said, now teach those butterflies to fly in the direction of the rowing course, taking you along with them, giving you wings on the water to be faster.
Pushing back against your doubts seems like something that will come up a few times in our lives. Learning how to use positive self-talk as a way to overcome it will serve you well. I certainly still have to flex that mental muscle when I hold myself back on opportunities. Tim Ferriss did a great TED talk on Fear Setting. This could be interesting for you to watch as a further deep dive. Link below.
In 2016, Want it more than you fear it, this is what Kirstin, my doubles partner, and I used as our credo going into the Rio Olympics.
In closing, here is a funny but inspirational talk that popped into my inbox today. It’s one of those that you start watching and then go, yeah, this is really good.
What I learned from 100 days of rejection (Jia Jiang | TEDxMtHood)
Tim Ferriss TedTalk > Why you should define your fears instead of your goals